THE TOP SEVEN WAYS TO DECLUTTER YOUR CLOSET
From Someone Who Isn’t Buying Clothes for A Year
1 | GO OFF THE GRID.
Unsubscribe from as many promotional e-mails from your favorite retailers as you dare. This way, not only will your Inbox be relieved of excess spam-bloat, a flash sale won’t reduce your resolve to 30% Off.
2 | BUY VELVET HANGERS.
And use them. This is a great way of monitoring the influx of your closet: simply do not buy more hangers. You can only purchase an item if you get rid of another. Did I also mention that velvet hangers are fuzzy like bunnies, don’t shed and are slimmer than plastic hangers?
3 | DECORATE IT TIL YOU MAKE IT.
Make your closet the prettiest room in your house — I don’t care — buy flowers for it if you have to. Add a rug and mirrored jewelry tray. Plug in a scent that won’t make you gag. You want to feel like you’ve just walked into a tiny slice of Harrods every time you pick out a sweater. Does Harrods have dirty laundry on its floor? No! Then don’t do what Harrods wouldn’t do!
4 | HANG TIGHT. Turn all the hangers in your closet the same way: with the hook looping over the bar from the back. When you wear a garment and rehang it, simply put it up the opposite way. At the end of six months — anything that you haven’t touched, consider putting in a donation bin.
5 | PACK FOR PARIS. Buy three cute trunks, storage bins or under-the-bed drawers, then pretend that you are moving far, far away for an indefinite spell of time. (To Paris. To find the love of your life. You’ve gotta look fierce hon, this is your renaissance!) You can only bring 40 items on your trip, so strip your closet and only rehang what you would bring. The rest — sort into your three clothes bins: one labeled “EX-BOYFRIENDS” for all your sentimental clothes, one “FLINGS” for your seasonal stuff like swim gear, thick socks, hats and Halloween costumes, and another called “IT’S COMPLICATED” for everything that you could see yourself donating, but would like to hold on to for the time being. Revisit that last trunk every 3 months. If you forgot you even had something, let it go.
6 | BARBIE YOURSELF.
Let’s say you’re famous (maybe you are, I don’t know, I’ve never heard of you). It follows that naturally, you are going to be made into an action figure. Imagine what the designers of that doll would put up on a mood board for your mini-you…how you dress, your projected lifestyle choices, your favorite colors, your best-dressed hits. Make this mood board — and keep it specific. Don’t put ten pictures up of Kristen Stewart and call it a day — make it 10% aspirational and 90% true to what you already own. Try to encapsulate your states of work and play with as few images as possible on a cork board, then BAM! Hang that baby up on your closet door. You want to see it every time you get dressed as if Pinterest just went analog.
7 | IMAGINE.
The traditional rule of thumb is to imagine the item you want to purchase matching with at least three things you already own. I suggest bumping that number up to five and pushing that item through the filter of a few more “imaginings”: Would you still wear this in 20 years? Would you be proud to pass it on? Imagine the most expensive thing that you want (like, a mortgage): Do you want this thing now or the most expensive thing later? Would you regret not buying it? How many people in this world live under the poverty line? Maybe the time it takes you to Google that answer is enough to deter you from an instant purchase.